Cold War 2: Cold Harder


Who doesn’t love a good sequel? After the cliffhanger ending of the first Cold War, it would appear that the US and Russia are at it again to bring us the long awaited Cold War 2. We last left things off with the United States and Russia in an uneasy truce, but because of Russia’s “alleged” interference in the US election things are getting heated again.

Donald Trump and Vladimir Putin are going to go head-to-head as two global superpowers clash. Puppet governments will be formed, military conflicts will be had, but never with each other! It’s the continuation of the constant “will they, won’t they” that we’ve craved for so long. Who knows what and the brilliant mind behind The Apprentice will bring us with this new project.


White House Staffer Heroically Smashes President’s Phone during Twitter Rant

A senior White House staffer was commended by White House Communications Director Anthony Scaramucci for “accidentally” destroying the President’s cell phone with a sledgehammer during a mid-morning tweetstorm that threatened to release damaging information on the administration. When President Trump put down his phone to raise the volume on Fox & Friends, the aide rushed forward and selflessly pummeled the phone into oblivion, denying the President the ability to undermine his legal team’s defense preparations.

Trump Christens ‘Lucille’, his New “Negotiating Stick” with Clubbing of Minority Leader Schumer

2017 marks the 161st anniversary of the infamous caning of Senator Charles Sumner, an event that President Trump emulated on Wednesday, striking Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer several times with a baseball bat before yelling “Now you have something to cry about!” and fleeing the Senate chambers.

When asked about the addition of the bat to his negotiating arsenal, President Trump replied:
“A great guy said once to speak softly and carry a big stick. But I’m the best guy okay? So I’ll yell loud and I’ll carry the biggest stick. Believe me. It’s the greatest. You’ll love it.” Photo Credit: Alex Brandon / AP Photo.

White House Kitchen Staff Denies Collusion after Preparation of Perfect Beef Stroganoff


House Democrats called for an investigation into possible collusion between the White House kitchen staff and the Russian government after images of President Trump being served a perfectly prepared dish of Beef Stroganoff surfaced online Friday. Photo Credit: Samantha Appleton.